My fellow Americans. I come before you today to explain how you too can donate as much money as you want to the candidate for political office of your choice and get away with it.
Right now you are limited to giving $2,300 to candidate X of party Y in the primary. You can also donate another $2,300 to candidate X of party Y for the general election. It doesn't matter if they win their primary. You can still donate this money.
Want to donate more? OK. Are you married? Your spouse can donate. Make sure he or she approves though. If he or she opposes, just don't tell them.
Score. $4,600 in the primary and $4,600 in the general.
Got kids? How many? How old are they? Oh hell, it doesn't matter. They're 2 and 7? Fantastic. They're each donating $4,600 too.
Score. $9,200 in the primary and $9,200 in the general.
Run a business? An Internet one? Awesome. How many employees do you have? 7? Cool. They're all donating and you're paying for it. Careful though. Remember your spouse? Yea, either don't tell them or tell them as little as they need to know. Someone might call and check them out. That's another $16,100 for the primary and $16,100 for the general.
Score. $25,300 in the primary and $25,300 in the general. You're on your way to bundler status all by yourself.
Wait. Along the way you noticed that you accidentally entered the wrong name for one of your employees. But the charge still went through. That's odd. These one time use credit cards are supposed to be more secure. Could candidate X of party Y not be checking for the names on the cards?
HOLY MONTALBALL SCORE! Let's try it out.
Killer. It worked. Josef Stalin just donated to candidate X of party Y with the one time credit card you purchased with your own name. But wait, the campaign has your card number. They can trace it back to you. You're screwed. Could candidate X of party Y be deleting your name associated with your one time use credit card to protect your privacy?
Boo yah! They are. Wait again. They have the card number. They can trace that too. You're in trouble.
Boo yah too! They're purging the card numbers as well. They protected your privacy and their ass all by playing ultra stupid dumb.
Now, how many one time use credit cards can you afford?
Have fun. Be careful. I've only done this once before. Push it to the limit.